The slighted return may come soon.
During our Senior year, those with 4th and 5th period free would leave campus to go to my friends cabin and watch the show (and get stoned, drunk, or just sit around, it was all the same).
Come Spring Break 99. We’re in
The pros are:
The booze in included in the price of our vacation.
We have girls with us, from high school.
One of my boys lost his v card in the hot tub.
Food, just like booze, is included.
There is no trade embargo, which means Cuban Cigars are available for purchase.
High Schoolers have access to free booze
We’re there with girls from High School, and only two of us hooked up.
This is a resort for Middle Age Crises peoples. Not Wild and Crazy Guys.
The security force was on us ever since we had “a sex on the beach round” of drinking games.
On the third morning, we were all terribly hung over. I was in the period of my life where I puked every other time I drank, and the night before was no different because I drank nothing but Irish Coffee’s to end the night. When we got back to the room, I was as drunk as a skunk and more awake than the girl in accounts receivable after 2 red bulls. I tried drinking NyQuil to get to sleep.
BAD IDEA.So there we were. It was too cold to do anything but stay inside and watch TV.
And it was a magical day of TV. All the guys had adjoining rooms in the hotel. I got a call from Brad who was in the room next to mine. “GO TO TBS, there is this ridiculous movie about Skateboarding from the 80’s...”
Me: “Skitchin!!! We’re watching it now. The Red Hot Chili Peppers are performing at a skate/dance party!”
That movie alone is worth 10,000 words.
When The Price is Right came on, we all got into one room.
What happened next I have tried to explain close to 50 times. It simply had to be seen to believed.
The two showcase finalists were a tiny Chinese woman no taller than 4’9’’, and a Firefighter I deemed “Intensor.”
The latter was something of a TPIR lame-o, he lost his pricing game without coming close, and only made the finals by sure might. When Intensor spun the wheel in the first showcase showdown, he walked over, and without bending his legs, spun the wheel round no less than 11 times.
The Chinese woman was something else though. When she got up on stage, she was still befuddled she won. She made a guess of like $800. The person after her guessed 1500, the person after them guesses 1501, and then the last guy in the group wagered a dollar.
She won, and she couldn’t really tell the difference.
When Bob Barker revealed her possible prize it was, I swear on my mother’s grave, “A TRIP TO CHINA!!!”
Immediately Brad yelled, “You’ll be staying at… Your house!!!”
We were on the floor laughing.
So flash forward to the Showdown.
Intensor gets the typical “girly” showcase, filled with dining room sets, a china collection, and a bed. He takes it.
We’re once again on the floor.
The Chinese woman is about to get her showcase, and she’s still a deer in the headlights.
The showcase opens.
Rod Roddy announces:
First off we have, three die cast miniature cars. (all of us in the room are at a loss for words).
Next we have: Three keychains from some chain store.
WHICH YOU ARE GOING TO NEED FOR:
THREE NEW GEO METROS!!!
She won. And her family walked over to her haul. Three new cars which fit three people and a trip to China. Really, any words would be a mess of incomprehension.
Labels: The price is right
posted by Indiana at 10:40 PM
Old is new again.
A bunch of lists.
Top Five Songs by the Clash. At the moment.
2. Complete Control
3. Janie Jones
4. I’m So Bored with the
5. Police On my back.
One note here… It’s something tremendously clichéd to fathom, but it’s possible that “Train in Vain” may be the greatest song the Clash ever wrote. It’s not the best Clash track, and their original rendition is rather plain, the vocal incantations are short and brisk, they aren’t framed by the power of the note sung, but by the context of the delivery. There is a Joe Cocker to the Beatles “With a little help from my friends” on this one potential.
This is the ultimate, angry post breakup pop song for men. In 40 years we have been given hundreds by women, another top 5.
2. Smile – Lily Allen. Between the “wine and a moan” line and the na-na’s at the end, this really is a great song.
3. Stronger – Britney S. Sure she is like Hurley on Lost, she needs a win now. Why not. That and the video was awesome.
4. Though not a single one of them are worthwhile, every song Beyonce and Destiny’s Child have ever done.
5. Car Wash – Rose Royce. If you want to see this is not a joke, rent Les Cousisns by Chabrol and apply it women. Then realize it’s as good of a joke possible.
Anyway. Train in Vain tops ‘em all. It’s the “you lied to me” song. But this one doesn’t throw accusations, it doesn’t make anyone better. In fact the forlorn side is desperately missing the other and telling them to piss off but they want them back. It’s a plea of desperation and pain, it’s a fuck you for making me feel so bad, yet there is no sense of belittlement, nothing derogatory, just a scream at the heavens about fate.
For some nerd in me.
Top five Battlestar moments.
4. Starbuck brings the raider home.
3. Starbuck brings Lee home.
2. Baltar’s speech condemning Zarek. It’s one thing to create a villain from day one, it’s something entirely different to engender hatred against a likable character. Baltar is a heel of a man, a geek whipped by his dick, a genius at self survival. This speech is so pure and genuine when it comes to politics that when watching it again, the coming change seems all the more painful. This is the character at his best; this only makes the worst in him the more devastating.
1. The “So say we all” speech.
If I have learned one thing in the last few years, it’s that I only now appreciate Star Wars and Empire as they should be. Star Wars (
But then comes Empire. I really don’t know, and I am saying this as a film student, if there is a film that has ever been better made for a mass audience. Sure there are films that can strike the heart of some… but Empire is one of the few films where even after the immediate story joy is gone, I enjoy watching the film for its rhythms… if you can understand that, we’ll talk.
I am saying this. I may see more important, more meaningful, and more intelligent films that Empire, but I doubt any of them will be as watchable or expertly crafted.
Yet, if Battlestar can stick the landing, if it can deliver a great product all the way through, then we can talk about which is better on the whole.
Of course this is a lie. If anything tops Empire in my lifetime, I will be grateful beyond life and shocked.
Hell, I’ll list. (From 1981 on)
5. Band of Brothers / Saving Private Ryan
4. Grand Theft Auto 3,
2. Ok Computer
1. Empire Strikes Back
And on that note:
Five things I think are the penultimate, i.e. the best of the best ever instance of usage of one element or another in this film in regard to the history of film.
5. Han Solo’s Barking (at C3po, at Leia, at Chewie): From “Never tell me the odds!” to “We don’t have time to discuss this with the committee” and finally: “You’ll die if you go out there!” “Then I’ll see you in hell!”
No anti hero will ever approach this level in any film. He’s not just a swashbuckler, he’s the ultimate male badass. He is the ultimate guy to have in your corner.
4. The Score. Sure Williams is ripping off Holst for 120 minutes. But this one is a winner from note one. And it’s one of five scores that immediately recall the movie.
A. Star Wars Saga
C. The Godfather
E. The Bridge on the River Kwai
3. The last 40 minutes. The odds are suddenly stacked so high against the good guys, and the only reasonable end without dues ex machina is failure. And it’s almost failure. Almost. Of the many reasons I keep watching this film is because how this ends. The only other film that does this for me is Dr. Strangelove. In both films, it’s so close to having a happy ending, but at every juncture, something bad happens.
With Dr. Strangelove, it’s all summed up with George C. Scott’s great Col. Buck Turgeson. In the moment when he is talking about the bombers and their capability to fly under the radar, he starts making airplane arms and then suddenly realizes that, his flyboys are going to drop the bomb. His macho giddiness is ruined by the nature of his business, which is to kill. He stammers and then quickly realizes he and the rest of humanity is fucked.
The gears in Strangelove are fixed on one thing, the end of humanity:
And this, I included the first one because of Sellers.
It’s a set point and Kubrick doesn’t flinch from it. The movie ends with humans ending the world. The only thing in the way of this is human goodwill. Which fails.
In Empire, the end point is the bad guys winning. The only thing in the way is Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, Leia, Lando, and the droids. In the end, it’s bad overcoming good. And it happens in some of the closest, almost there moments ever recorded. There are so many instances when all they need is a simple break to get ahead… only to have the escape ceiling raised higher (see #1).
2. Yoda. I have four Yoda figurines surrounding me as I type. I am a snob, which means I am an educated dork. Even if I wasn’t educated, I’d still have them. This is the ultimate teacher figure in film. Another list:
5. “For my ally is the force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow, its energy surrounds us, and binds us, luminous beings are we, not this crude mater. You must feel the force around you, here between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes, even between the land, and the ship.”
Not so much a lesson, as it a beckoning to a higher path. And what a beckoning.
4. “You must unlearn what you have learned.” Short of the army and NFL notion of stripping a person down to their bare elements and then building again, this is about right. You go on the new instinct, not on the old.
3. “This one, a long time I have watched. All his life has he looked away, to the future, to the horizon, never his mind on where he was, what he was doing! Adventure, heh, excitement, heh. A Jedi craves not these things, you are reckless!
2. “Try not. Do or do not. There is no try.” It doesn’t matter whether you are right or wrong, you are.
1. Luke: I… I don’t believe it.
Yoda: That, is why you fail.
That is the best teaching any character has ever given. Dead Poets be damned.
And for #1.
We have a TIE.
The best moment in Empire is clearly:
It may be the best moment in film. Not the film, but film history overall. When have 5 words ever meant so much in film? The three year wait may have both sustained this moment before the adequate ending of Jedi, but really, what moment in film could ever get the viewer heartbeat higher. Everything we were lead to believe was compromised with 5 words!
That’s never, ever going to be topped.
And yet there is one other moment in the film I must include. And it ties into #5.
If not for Han Solo, this series would have been a Sci-fi legend, and not a cultural phenomenon. Han Solo is Michael Jordan to the 96 Bulls, not Luke Skywalker. He is the one who did things no one else could in a great collection of talent.
When Han is going into the Carbon Freeze he has one last word with Leia.
“I love you!”
In the 100 years that proceeded it and the 100 that will follow, this will never be topped.
When I was dating this girl in 2003, I was just out of college and using every friend I had to try to get a job. My link from her lead me to Fox Studios on Pico. This was about July of that year. The whole place was abuzz about “The OC.” They were saying it was going to be huge, it was supposed to be next great show. I mean a show about teenagers in
Almost four years later, I feel like I lost a friend, and more so, a text that represented where I was for a period of my life.
When season 2 came on, it was in late 2004. It had switched from Wed to Thursday night, and seeing that I worked that night, I was in a bind (this was in the early days of TIVO and torrent TV sites). I talked to my boss and arranged so that I could take the 8-9 hour off to watch the OC. Admitting you have a problem is the first step.
By the time it ended, even with all of the false hurdles, even with the needless Luke interjection, suddenly, it was back, and for the first time, I guess I felt I knew LA was my home.
Living alone in LA was scary once I left college. I had no base, I had only marginal ideas of where to go, and all I had was a car, a house, and a phone.
What I was lacking was a family, a girlfriend, and a home.
Thankfully, within a month of me getting me own place, my favorite uncle wound up moving from the OC to
For a year or two, I lived with a broken heart, always thinking salvation was in the arms of someone else.
If becoming a man is anything, it’s that self importance is valued only on the self, and not the others. That and the whole concept is overrated.
The things that matter in life are friends, family, and a sense of home.
I’ll live in LA for years to come. At least I think I will. The reason I still love the OC, even underneath the shit of it all, was that I was finding myself, and the greatest comfort and joy I could pin myself to was a TV show about teenagers.
What is it they say about text’s finding you?
Labels: THE OC